A PSP Technical Support Joke by Eric Tischler
- Agent: Thank you for holding. My name is Eric. How may I assist you with your PSP?
- Consumer: Hi, I’m having a problem with the screen on my PSP. I can’t see it the images clearly and I’m having trouble playing my games.
- Agent: I apologize for your inconvenience and I’ll be happy to help you with that. What does the screen look when you turn it on?
- Consumer: It’s a distortion in the screen.
- Agent: What does it look like?
- Consumer: Actually, it looks like the Virgin Mary, and she’s crying real tears that run down the screen on the outside. One fell on my broken leg and healed it instantly.
- Agent: Wow, that’s amazing!
- Consumer: Yeah, but I want to send the PSP in for an exchange.
- Agent: You do? Why would you want to do that? This is a miracle!
- Consumer: Well, the thing is, I’m an atheist and I just want to play my games, and I can’t see the screen with her standing there. I just bought the PSP the day before yesterday and I have my receipt, so it is still under warranty.
- Agent: Well, um. If you really want to do and exchange we can look into that. Has the PSP ever been dropped or come into contact with any liquids, I mean other than the tears?
- Consumer: Just the tears of the Virgin Mary. But it still works fine. Everything functions and I can sort of see the game through her, but it’s really interfering with my gaming, especially with SOCOM games and Smackdown Vs. Raw.
- Agent: Oh yes. I imagine that would be a bit of a distraction. Well, exposure to liquids may put it out of warranty. It will have to be inspected for damage by liquids. Speaking of the warranty, I would like to do some research to verify the exact terms in this case. May I put you on hold for a minute or two while I do that?
- Consumer: Sure.
- (A half minute passes…)
- Agent: Thank you for holding. Are you there?
- Consumer: Yes.
- Agent: Well, I double checked the warranty terms and unfortunately we cannot offer a free exchange for your PSP. We can only offer to exchange your system out of warranty for a fee.
- Consumer: Why is that? Why can’t you do it for free? The screen isn’t broken, and the Virgin Mary’s tears didn’t cause the distortion that looks like her face, or any other damage. The distortion came first, and the PSP still works.
- Agent: Well, that may be the case, but if you look at the warranty is says very plainly that the warranty doesn’t cover acts of God.
